Judgement

Definition of judgement :- “making a sensible conclusion or decision based on facts or experiences”. But, in life judgement is something that everyone of us intentionally or unintentionally, adheres to, unfortunately.

Once we step out of our homes, every step we take, we are looking at people around us, similarly people are looking at you.  In our offices , peers , co-workers, seniors , juniors , everyone is doing the same thing as to what you are doing; Judging each other on looks, height, clothes , work, language etc.

Let’s start from our school days, kids at that age are not conditioned to understand about judgement, so kids at a very young age do not care about who is what or where they come from, hence gel up with all kids in their class. But, as they grow up and parents back home start telling them about their own thoughts about caste / creed/money / status , kids start developing similar thought process . This conditioning is so ingrained in us from our initial growing up  days , that we start believing in this gradually while growing up. A very small example of judgements prevailing in our society is parents not letting their kids follow their passion, rather going for a more traditional and safe option while choosing careers. If a kid is good at football/cricket or any other sport, they should be allowed to practice and refine it so that they can make their passion as their profession but again in the fear of being judged or what people will think of, many kids are not allowed to follow their dreams. On a brighter side , the new age parents are changing and letting their kids follow what they like be it singing, dancing, sports etc.

After school , we go for higher studies and most of the times, away from our parents or home where we grew up. This is the place where transition from adolescence to adulthood takes place but the inherent conditioning does not let one be totally unbiased of how to perceive and connect purely on the basis of instinct. Students judging other students, students judging teachers, teachers judging the teachers etc.

In our office spaces , when we enter the first job, we are judged by the seniors, by our peers as well at times. Every day , every hour, every minute , every second , we are being judged and we are also judging others.  Coming to gender based judgement, we at times judge a women by her way of dressing, communicating etc. When it comes to a man , we judge him when he is not conforming to a stereotype of being a man, if he is sensitive or vulnerable then he is judged.

In this age of quick romance or dating , one of the major things we are doing subconsciously is judging people on the first meeting without even thinking or giving importance to the internals at a human level. In a relationship, at times partners are unknowingly judging each other, every person has the right to live their life on their terms. Being in a relationship does not give right to either partners of judging or commanding the other to be or behave a certain way. Relationship means to accept your partner without judging or changing them of who they are. If that does not work for you, no point being in such a relationship, as you are denying yourself someone more deserving of you by being in that loveless relationship.

In the fear of being judged people continue such a relationship and move to infidelity sometimes, which is a sin. Now, without going into the details of someone involved in infidelity , I just said it is wrong (judgemental writer I say). Yes it is wrong but every individual has different reasons for doing everything. Specifically in such a situation, some of the people are just not aware about depths of emotions and feel that this is what they are doing is best to sustain in the society but some of them are the ones who are completely alone while being in a relationship or suffering emotionally/mentally/physically. Before one goes into either of these situations, part ways with your current partner without the fear of any consequences or being judged, is the best way to handle things in these matters.

So, someone who does not fit into a stereotype of the society should be judged, is what we as humans conform to, sadly a reality of our times. People do not try to understand as that is difficult and judging is easier, so we judge. As humans it is our responsibility to let another human feel that they are not alone. We as people are afraid of being vulnerable, hence many a times we do not address the exact feeling or emotion we go through in the fear of being judged.

Judging others does not help us figure out how the other person is but it really shows how shallow one can be. The inability to understand humans completely negates the purpose of being evolved. We say we have evolved from homo sapiens but again these traits do compel one to think whether we as homo sapiens were better or how we are now ? Is it just evolution of the physical appearance and nothing more.

Something to ponder …!

Thanks for reading .

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